If I Had a Million Dollars
Karaoke Version
Live Version
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a house
(I would buy you a house)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you furniture for your house
(Maybe a nice chesterfield or ottoman)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a K-Car
(A nice reliant automobile)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars
(I'd build a tree-fort in our yard)
If I had a million dollars
(You could help, it wouldn't be that hard)
If I had a million dollars
(Maybe we could put a fridge in there somewhere)
We could go up there whenever we wanted to
(We could have something to eat maybe)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a fur a coat
(But not a real fur coat, that's cruel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you an exotic pet
(Like a llama or an emu)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you John Merrick's remains
(All them crazy bones)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars
(We wouldn't have to walk to the store)
If I had a million dollars
(We'd take a limousine 'cause it costs more)
If I had a million dollars
(We wouldn't have to eat Kraft dinner)
But we would, it's tasty stuff
(Of course we would, it's a very tasty treat for the whole family)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a green dress
(With a tastefully round neck)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you some art
(A Picasso or a Garfunkel)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
I'd buy you a monkey
(Haven't you always wanted a monkey?)
If I had a million dollars, I'd buy your love
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars
(If I had a million dollars)
If I had a million dollars
I'd be rich
One Week
Official Video
Karaoke Version
Live Version
It's been one week since you looked at me
Cocked your head to the side and said, "I'm angry"
Five days since you laughed at me saying
"Get back together come back and save me"
Three days since the living room
I realized it's all my fault, but couldn't tell you
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
But it'll still be two days 'til I say I'm sorry
Hold it now and watch the hoodwink
As I make you stop, think
You'll think you're looking at Aquaman
I summon fish to the dish, although I like the Chalet Swiss
I like the sushi
'Cause it's never touched a frying pan
Hot like wasabi when I bust rhymes
Big like LeAnn Rimes
Because I'm all about value
Bert Kaempfert's got the mad hits
You try to match wits, you try to hold me but I bust through
Gonna make a break and take a fake
I'd like a stinking aching shake
I like vanilla, it's the finest of the flavours
Gotta see the show, 'cause then you'll know
That vertigo is gonna grow
'Cause it's so dangerous
You'll have to sign a waiver
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Trying hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
Well, you soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of taking off my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Threw your arms in the air
And said, "You're crazy"
Five days since you tackled me
I've still got the rug burns on both my knees
It's been three days since the afternoon
You realized it's not my fault
Not a moment too soon
Yesterday you'd forgiven me
And now I sit back and wait 'til you say you're sorry
Chickity China the Chinese chicken
You have a drumstick and your brain stops tickin'
Watchin' X-Files with no lights on
We're dans la maison
I hope the Smoking Man's in this one
Like Harrison Ford I'm getting frantic
Like Sting I'm tantric
Like Snickers, guaranteed to satisfy
Like Kurosawa I make mad films
Okay, I don't make films
But if I did they'd have a Samurai
Gonna get a set a' better clubs
Gonna find the kind with tiny nubs
Just so my irons aren't always flying off the back-swing
Gotta get in tune with Sailor Moon
'Cause that cartoon has got the boom anime babes
That make me think the wrong thing
How can I help it if I think you're funny when you're mad
Tryin' hard not to smile though I feel bad
I'm the kind of guy who laughs at a funeral
Can't understand what I mean?
You soon will
I have a tendency to wear my mind on my sleeve
I have a history of losing my shirt
It's been one week since you looked at me
Dropped your arms to your sides
And said, "I'm sorry."
Five days since I laughed at you and said
"You just did just what I thought you were gonna do"
Three days since the living room
We realized we're both to blame
But what could we do?
Yesterday you just smiled at me
Cause it'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days 'til we say we're sorry
It'll still be two days 'til we say "Wasabi"
Pinch Me
Official Video
Karaoke Version
Live Version
It's the perfect time of year
Somewhere far away from here
I feel fine enough, I guess
Considering everything's a mess.
There's a restaurant down the street
Where hungry people like to eat
I could walk, but I'll just drive
It's colder than it looks outside.
It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone..,
[Napster version addition:]
[S] Hi folks this is Steven Page.
[T] This is Tyler Stewart.
[S] We're two members of Barenaked Ladies, and although you *thought*
you were downloading our new single,
what you're actually downloading is an advertisement for our new album 'Maroon',
comes out September 12th,
and after that point I'm sure you can download lots
of stuff from our record but until then you're just going to get lots of stuff with us bugging you.
[T] We fooled you, huh? We're sneaky like that...you can never trust a Canadian.
Next thing you know, we'll be supplying your natural resources!
...then ya try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn,
When ya try to see the world beyond your front door.
Take your time 'cause the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile,
When ya realise that with a guy my size it might take a while,
Just to try to figure out what all this is for.
It's the perfect time of day
To throw all your cares away
Put the sprinkler on the lawn
And run through with my gym shorts on.
Take a drink right from the hose
And change into some drier clothes
Climb the stairs up to my room
Sleep away the afternoon.
It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone,
Then ya try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn,
When ya try to see the world beyond your front door.
[Napster version addition:]
[T] Hello? Hi? H-? Hello? If you just- Would you- Could-
Could you please leave a m- Ah. If you'd just let me leave a -
At the sound of the - Uh. Ah. Thanks.
Take your time 'cause the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile, when ya
Realise that with a guy my size it might take a while, just to
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Pinch me
Pinch me
'Cause I'm still asleep.
Please God
Tell me
That I'm still asleep
On an evening such as this
It's hard to tell if I exist
If I packed a car and leave this town
Who'll notice that I'm not around?
I could hide out under there
I just made you say 'underwear'
I could leave but I'll just stay
All my stuff's here anyway.
It's like a dream - you try to remember but it's gone,
Then ya try to scream but it only comes out as a yawn,
When ya try to see the world beyond your front door.
[Napster version addition:]
[S] If you're listening? We're trying to get our song on Napster,
But we don't know how to do it....errr....we're Barenaked Ladies
And we're trying to....Ty? Can you just press that over there?
Take your time 'cause the way I rhyme's gonna make you smile,
When ya realise that with a guy my size it might take a while,
Just to try to figure out what all this is for.
Try to figure out what all this is for.
Try to see the world beyond your front door.
Try to figure out what all this is for.
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